Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You know, be my cock's hype man.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize