i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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