Can Purell be used as lube?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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