my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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