There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize