Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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