Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess

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  (603): i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess http://tfl.nu/ousq
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'

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  (303): i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris' http://tfl.nu/lstf
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  (858): View more from California

  Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.

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  (858): Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo. http://tfl.nu/gbo1
  Replies (44) Good night (2237) Bad night (5138) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.

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  (208): The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State. http://tfl.nu/x5jw
  Replies (20) Good night (1123) Bad night (4021) Order T-Shirt
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.

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  (807): I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature. http://tfl.nu/rbpc
  Replies (47) Good night (6340) Bad night (995) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.

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  (410): I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube. (1-410): I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds. http://tfl.nu/szhm
  Replies (13) Good night (4710) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery

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  (603): its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery http://tfl.nu/k62j
  Replies (4) Good night (2737) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.

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  (416): drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets. http://tfl.nu/drct
  Replies (7) Good night (3206) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.

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  (828): I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm. http://tfl.nu/jyta
  Replies (19) Good night (670) Bad night (4443) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.

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  (859): the best sex is "duke just lost" sex. http://tfl.nu/zw67
  Replies (33) Good night (6071) Bad night (1289) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.

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  (859): if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it. http://tfl.nu/6uvx
  Replies (10) Good night (2601) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back

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  (908): Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back http://tfl.nu/mdgi
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?

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  (712): You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you? http://tfl.nu/pa4x
  Replies (11) Good night (571) Bad night (1619) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  What if our hands were octopus tentacles?

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  You're an idiot.

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  (662): What if our hands were octopus tentacles? (1-662): You're an idiot. http://tfl.nu/2n3l
  Replies (16) Good night (2163) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"

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  (716): you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee" http://tfl.nu/ycun
  Replies (1) Good night (333) Bad night (537) Order T-Shirt

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