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i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
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