I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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