There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It was confusing and full of hummus
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
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There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
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i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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