Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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