4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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