i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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