Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
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