You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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