does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize