Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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