next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
What drink are we having for lunch?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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