just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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