My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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