yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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