It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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