she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize