Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize