Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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