Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize