My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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