before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize