haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
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Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
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Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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