I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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