i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
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90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
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he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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