the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
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HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
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On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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