He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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