ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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