If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
my shit smells like andre
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I am naked and annoyed.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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