I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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