I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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