Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
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She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
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The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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