so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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