...so i touched it.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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