when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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