I swear god or herbie drove my car home
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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