She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
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I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
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I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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