dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize