you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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