after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
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I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
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Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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