are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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