Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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