direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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