Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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