I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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